Well I haven’t blogged in a while, for a couple of reason. On my own life experiences, I found that when I was writing about it I tended to experience more PTSD. Nothing major, just being more jumpy and probably more moody. So figured I should take a break on that. And on my current CASA case with Lady Bug, honestly, there’s not much to say. It has been quite frustrating. I’m not getting much info from my CASA supervisor nor from the child welfare worker.
So, since my last post I have been able to meet with the aunt of Lady Bug who is fostering her. She seems like a nice enough lady but has some rather strange beliefs, but to each their own as long as no child is being harmed. In my first meeting with her she admitted she felt a bit overwhelmed. After a couple of visits my gut still said she wasn’t playing by the rules. The rules being that mom nor dad were to have Lady Bug alone, must always be supervised. Of course, she would never admit that to be the case but I just had a gut feeling.
In a visit just before Thanksgiving she told me she and her husband were divorcing and she wasn’t sure where she would end up living. I asked if she would still be able to care for Lady Bug and she assured me she had no problem with that. So, she was overwhelmed before and now she’s going to be a single mother of two. Have to admit I didn’t feel good about this. I shared these feelings with my CASA supervisor and she said that she felt it was still best for Lady Bug to be with family. So……..
Two weeks later I am contacted by my CASA supervisor and informed that aunt had moved Lady Bug out of the county into her new boyfriend’s home. Ugh! Child welfare paid a visit to the new home once this was learned and determined it to be acceptable. But because they are out of county my supervisor said I should wait and not visit just yet. So that was the end of November.
I have attempted to stay in touch with my supervisor and the child welfare worker but am not getting much back from them. Finally last week my supervisor emails me and tells me that the child welfare worker had seen mom, dad and Lady Bug out shopping during the holidays. She didn’t approach them but waited until after the holidays to even call. She called mom who insisted that aunt was in the dressing room. Well, caseworker had seen them in the parking lot so…….. After that she scheduled an appointment with mom but mom didn’t show up and the last I heard wasn’t returning her calls. Aunt wasn’t returning calls either. At this point, I’m kinda in the dark.
It’s extremely frustrating not being able to get info. Also, I’m very annoyed that the case worker 1) didn’t do something immediately when she saw them out and 2) waited several days before doing anything at all!
So, now you know what I know…………very little!
Well, I promised an update on my new CASA case once I was able to meet my new Little Lady and it has been a while. I spent almost 2 weeks calling everyday and leaving messages before I could ever even get the Foster Mom/Aunt on the phone. Finally got her early last week and scheduled a meeting at her house to introduce myself, meet the family and Little Lady for a few days later. Appointment day came, I showed up a few minutes early, which is pretty rare for me. There was an obstacle course I had to navigate to even get to the front door and it was nasty! There’s a line of shrubs fight up to the edge of the sidewalk, on the sidewalk were 3 large trash dumpsters making it near impossible to get through. I made it, knocked and no answer. Really? Hoping she just didn’t hear me I wait a few minutes and knock again. A dog barks but no one comes to the door. I return to my car as this isn’t one of the best neighborhoods and I don’t want to just hang out there, besides the smell was killing me! In my car I called Aunt, someone picks up but doesn’t say a word. I called 2 more times but it just went to voicemail. I left a message saying I was outside of her house for our scheduled appointment, advised I would wait a bit in hopes that she would show up. After about 10 or 15 minutes I climbed back through the obstacle course to the front door. Knocked, I could hear movement inside but still no answer. Knocked a few times but nothing. I decided to go to the back of the house because it appeared this may be a duplex. At the back there were 2 doors, I knock on both but still nothing.
At this point I have a couple of suspicions (I’m not a very trusting person), 1) she doesn’t have the baby or 2) she doesn’t want me to see the condition of the house. Aside from the stench out from I have no basis for my suspicions except my gut feeling. At this point I decided I’m gonna do a surprise visit to the parents’ house and maybe I might just find Little Lady there. Not sure why I thought they would answer the door! They didn’t.
A little later Aunt calls me and says she forgot about our appointment and was at the laundry mat, asked if I could come back later. I asked for a time that would be good for her. Her story changes, now she’s at her mother’s and won’t be able to be home until much later that evening. She asks if I can just meet her at her mother’s house in a few hours. Hmmmmm………. No, I must visit the home where Little Lady is supposed to be living. I just left it at that and told her I would call in a couple of days to reschedule.
I think this case is going to be a little different from my last one. I kinda got spoiled having such great foster parents for Frankie. They made things much simpler. I have a feeling this one is going to be a struggle the entire way!
Just returned from a hearing on my new case. This will be another little one, a 7 month old little girl. She was there today, what a cutie! Man I hate seeing these babies being passed around from home to home! The good news is these parents may actually want to change their habits and get their child back. There doesn’t appear to be any serious abuse issues, which is a huge blessing. The main concern is some neglect. Mom and dad are too busy partying to take care of the little one. They haven’t admitted to having a problem yet but they have agreed to getting help if it is determined they have a problem. HELLO! You have a problem……..you child isn’t living with you because you have chosen partying over caring for her! Hopefully this will be a wake up call for them. Fingers crossed!
I’ll be calling the relative foster family in the next few days to go for my first visit. I’ll post more at that time. Once I get a chance to talk to everyone I think I’ll have a better idea of how serious they are about making changes.
Silence is not golden when it comes to our children!
We as parents, grandparents and adults need to be open to the signs of abuse and follow our natural instincts. Child safety MUST remain the priority at all times. Trust your gut. If you feel that something is not right, seek out help. It is difficult; people are often reluctant to contact the authorities due to a fear of breaking up a family. If you have even a suspicion that something is wrong, it’s better to call than not call the authorities and voice your concerns, if not open up to friends and family for support to act.
Children are often scared to speak up, despite improved awareness about child abuse, so we must be their voice. When there is abuse in the home it can be very hard for a child to go forward to anyone because they are worried about breaking up the family or being punished. If there are adults in the child’s life that are ignoring the abuse; looking the other way; they begin to believe there is no one to help; no one they can trust. They believe if they tell the abuse will only get worse.
Professionals such as teachers, health care workers and police have a legal obligation to report suspected abuse. I believe this should be applied to every adult in this country and all over the world. Until we have a legal obligation, let our moral one lead the way, and let’s wipe out child abuse and continue on to demand heavier penalties to deter any future despicable behaviors.
STAND UP PEOPLE! BE A VOICE FOR A CHILD WHO CAN’T SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!
Well, mom and dad both have now signed off for the Foster Parents to be able to adopt Frankie! I am so happy for him and his new family. I have no doubt he will have a wonderful life with them. It’ll be another few months before the adoption is complete but at least we know it will soon happen. God has truly blessed this little boy and saved him from a difficult life. Now he will grow up with loving parents and siblings.
The sad part is we still believe bio-mom is pregnant again. How can someone give birth to a baby, sign away their rights because it’s just too difficult to be a good parent and fight to keep him and then turn around and have another?!? I just don’t understand this. If she is pregnant we believe it is by a different man but this man really isn’t much different than Frankie’s father. With a heavy heart I am sure that we will see this mom and her new baby back in the system within a year.
But on a happier note…..YAH! FOR FRANKIE!! This case will close out soon so I have requested another. I received all of the information on it yesterday and will be posting on it soon.
So we had a hearing last week for Frankie, supposedly to get a status of how things are going. The hope, at least on my part, was that the parents would sign off for the foster parents to adopt little Frankie. He is doing so well with this family I would hate the thought of him having to leave. Of course, he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon because the parents haven’t done anything in an effort to get him back. Anyway, both parents showed up for the hearing, even though no one has been able to get in touch with them in months. Mom showed up with her new boyfriend. They claim that Mom, Dad and boyfriend are all living together. I’m not sure that is true. Dad ended up signing off on the adoption but Mom had more questions she needed answered before she would sign. Questions like “if I give up this baby and I have another can it be taken away from me?” So now everyone is thinking she is pregnant again. That is a scary thought! Because she had more questions and her attorney wasn’t present for the hearing they had to schedule another one for a month out. I guess maybe in a month we’ll be able to see if she is pregnant or not! Fingers crossed that she is NOT and that she will sign for the adoption to move forward and Frankie’s life will no longer be in limbo!
I read the post below on another’s blog. It has a wonderful message to those who have been abused…………….
One of the most difficult lessons in acceptance lies in the fact that we encounter situations that may not have been our fault (like a car crash) but which have consequences that require us to do p…
Source: Doing the Work of Healing