Take Off The Blindfolds

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Okay, I’m gonna rant one more time and then I promise to take a break for a while. I keep hearing over and over how people in our small hometown didn’t believe Bobby did these horrific things to our family. I would give anything to sit and talk with these people. Have they ever asked or talked with any of us?? Did they attend his trial?? NO! And why? Because they want to believe that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen, especially to people they know or in their little idealistic town. Well, IT DOES and IT DID!!

Continue reading “Take Off The Blindfolds”

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A Picture……….

man_silhouette_clip_art_9510Saw a picture of him today.

Wow! I wasn’t ready for that! Part of the reason I left Louisiana was so I would never accidentally run into him. Just seeing a picture of him throws me back to that helpless child. I think I’ll choose to hold on to the way he looked the last time I actually saw him (in handcuffs). That was a much less intimidating picture. Continue reading “A Picture……….”

Forgiveness

Forgive, they say! I struggle to forgive when I am still, 30+ years later, seeing the damage he did to my family!  How do you forgive when you still see the pain and destruction caused by one man’s actions? Yes, we are all adults responsible for our own behaviors but I still hold him accountable for the positions some of us are in today. For without him these issues wouldn’t exist. So yeah, I am still angry about the lives he has so deeply affected!  Judge me if you like but I have not forgiven! And yeah I’m still pretty pissed!

Sorry for the rant.

Update on Frankie

4a2f974638b4b3a5c1cd639a1360eee7Not a lot going on in my CASA case. Went and visited with Frankie few days ago. He hadn’t been feeling well but he was still just as happy as ever. He is growing stronger everyday. He does have a few health issues that are concerning so we’ll just have to wait and see what has to be done there, if anything.  The foster parents met with his parents to discuss the possibilities of adoption. They felt like they were close to a decision but Mom wasn’t totally sure she was ready for that move. I can understand that. I’m glad she’s taking time to think it through.  Even if they do decide to give him up for adoption the state isn’t going to let it happen right away. It’ll probably be at least another 9 months before anything would be finalized. A lot can happen in 9 months! Continue reading “Update on Frankie”

Momma

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I wanted to address something before I go much further in talking about my childhood. To those who will want to blame Momma for allowing Bobby to do these things to us, don’t judge until you have walked in their shoes. I’ll admit there are times when I start to blame Momma but then a picture of her bruised and bloodied body, her black eyes, busted lips, broken arm, handfuls of hair that had been pulled out flashes into my mind. I see her being punched, kicked, shot at and so much more. After a few years of being treated the way she was not very many people would be strong enough to stand up to such a monster. And you have to remember in the beginning she had 4 small children all under the age of 5 and within just a few years she had another and then another. She was beaten down so low that she could never imagine being able to get away without being killed. I know she believed this because we all believed it. You would too if you spent even a few days living in our home. So, please as I tell this story try not to judge Momma too harshly. She too was a victim.

Life is Good

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I was thinking about this blog on my way home last night. I don’t want to post only gloom and doom. I just recently talked with a fellow survivor of the same evil hands. I told her my sweet revenge for my crappy childhood is living a great life! And I do have a great life!  I have been very blessed. It’s exactly what he never wanted for me and told me I could never have but I am proving him wrong everyday.  Everyday I wake up to a wonderfully blessed life!