Thoughts……

My last post got me to thinking about a lot of different things. I said that I didn’t have very many good memories of my childhood and then I talked about a time when we stayed at Grand-daddy’s house. Our stay at Grand-daddy’s house is one of the few good memories. I don’t remember a lot about it but I remember I was happy. I believe he had a farm because I remember cows and chickens. It was a great time for me and my siblings playing in the chicken yard which usually ended in the rooster chasing us. And when we got really brave we would go out into the field with the cows and let them chase us. It was all new to us because at that point we had always lived in the “city.” So country life was a new and exciting adventure.

But with that being said it’s one more reason I’m angry at Bobby. I think that was the last time I ever saw my Grand-daddy. Once he moved us to Jena we weren’t allowed to have any type of relationship with any of Momma’s family. Sure once we got out from under his iron fist, I could have pursued that relationship but by that time I didn’t know how to have a normal relationship or even trust anyone to try. It just didn’t seem worth it at the time. Now Grand-daddy is gone and I will never have that opportunity. This goes for so many others from Momma’s family. He basically took away all of my extended family. The only family we had was his family. And needless to say once I had him locked up those relationships were dead. Of course, if they support that type of person, I wouldn’t want a relationship with them anyway. It makes me angry and very sad. He has taken so much from me!

I guess the point I wanted to make here is that the abuse of a child goes so much further than just the actual abuse. It affects every aspect of that child’s life forever!

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