Saw a picture of him today.
Wow! I wasn’t ready for that! Part of the reason I left Louisiana was so I would never accidentally run into him. Just seeing a picture of him throws me back to that helpless child. I think I’ll choose to hold on to the way he looked the last time I actually saw him (in handcuffs). That was a much less intimidating picture.
I know he is the father of people I love dearly but I still struggle with even acknowledging that. One of his children said to me last night that she just reminds herself that she is the good part of him. Even though I struggle with thinking there was ever anything good in him, I know his children are good, in spite of him! With all of my being I believe that he had absolutely nothing to do with their goodness! They are precious, good people who deserve the best life has to offer. Sadly they too are scarred by this monster in ways I can’t even begin to understand. So I say to them, I am sorry if I have ever projected my anger at him on you. I’m truly sorry!